As many of you know, we lost my brother Johnny in March.  As we are nearing his birthday here in a couple of days my mind has been tending to wander to addiction.  We have lost some close family friends lately to other addictions. I am going to get on my soapbox for a moment..........
I was guilty many times of thinking and sometimes saying why can't you just stop this?  You know this just hurts you and all of those around you.  In most cases these people do not want to be addicts. I have had to step back and look at addiction in a new light so that I can try to be a light to others with a struggle and not their judge.  I ask myself what am I addicted to?   Do you need your diet coke to start your day?  Are you addicted to food?  Do you check twitter and facebook all day long?  I have many friends who cannot imagine a day without walking into Starbucks.  Some people want to be so healthy that they are addicted to exercise and dieting.  It is a sickness.  Even though in most instances these things are not physically killing us or affecting those around us, we still have addictions.  When you were reading this what is that one thing you thought of?  What if I told you right now you can never do or  have that item again.  You can never drive through Starbucks and get your special drink, nor can you go to McDonald's to grab your fountain pop.  Most of us would think I can do this.....Let me just have one more.  Just one last time.  For many this is the way it is with drugs and alcohol.  They just need it one more time.  When I was diagnosed with heart failure ,and this lovely defibrillator kept going off , I had to stop caffeine.  That was HARD!!!!!  I had no idea how addicted I was to caffeine!  I had massive headaches and even shakes.  And I was not one who consumed a ton of it a day.  I wanted so bad to open a can of coke so that it would go away!  If it was not for the fear of being shocked by this machine in my body I am not sure I would have stuck to giving it up.  In my instance the fear of that pain outweighed the need for the caffeine.  I have many friends who have done the water challenge to raise funds for clean water in other countries.  They gave up their drinks for water for one month.  On day thirty they could not wait to go and grab a pop!  What if you had an addiction and you had to give it up forever?  You could not go back to it in thirty days.  I am not saying this is the same as being addicted to drugs and alcohol.  I am just saying it is so easy to be the judge and wonder "why can't they just quit?" I have been in the judgement seat many times in the last years.  I had someone tell me maybe I am faster to judge because I am a Christian.  I can promise it is just the opposite!  So many times Christians are put into a category of right winged, holier than thou, judges.  I can't speak for everyone, but I know that personally knowing Christ has made me less of a judge.  That is because I am an imperfect person who knows that God loves me just the way I am.  My only goal in life is to love others the way he loves me.  I think the rest falls into place.  I was blessed to read a book by Karen Kingsbury called I Can Only Imagine.  It reminded me of how sometimes loving others through Christ is better than shouting it.  God loves that person struggling with addiction more than I can even imagine!  He wants to love them through it.  Sometimes we just so happen to get lucky enough to be the one God blesses to love that person on this earth.  I think of Lisa Harper.   If you have never heard of her go and look her up right now on you tube!  She is hysterical!  She also makes the Bible come alive in a way I had never before experienced.  She works with a ministry called Next Door in Nashville.  She herself has never been an addict, but loves those women through their addictions and recoveries.  Have you had someone put into your life that is hard to love?  Do what you can to try to walk in their shoes.  I am not saying tolerate an addiction.  Or if you are in a relationship that an addiction is physically hurting you get out and get help.  I am just saying that it can be so easy to say that would never be me.  Love that person while you can.  Life is short.  Addictions are awful and tear lives apart.  I just needed to step back and try to experience just a portion of what the person who has the addiction must have to go through to quit. This helps my heart to try to love even when I do not understand. The times when my brother was good will be some of the best memories of my life that I will cherish in this big old over sized heart of mine until I meet him again in heaven!  I wanted to share a song by our favorite Christian Band called Anthem Lights.  These men are changing the world in so many ways and being a lighthouse for many out there wandering.  Have you had someone that was your Lighthouse even in your darkest days?  Being a Lighthouse can be the most tiring job in the world but so worth it in the end. Who can you be a Lighthouse to today?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZpDnd3E-oo

This and That

I just wanted to take as minute to tell you a little about myself.  I am a 39 year old mother of four, wife to one and Lover of Jesus.  ;)  We live a crazy and full life in this house.  We are blessed beyond measure.  After hearing my story, people often ask me how I can feel that we are blessed.  I hope that you will learn that for yourself as you read posts here.  I have the 100% belief that God is author of my life.  So how can he be wrong?  He already knew my story when I was created.  On these pages I hope to share a little of that.  We have had our ups and our downs, but through it all we have found pure joy.  This is a gift!  You will quickly learn that along with the trials, there is a lot of comedy in our home.  Please try to stop back in often.  I am a little random in thought, so I am sure this blog will be also.  You  never know what you might hear that day.  I hope you will visit my small corner of the world again soon!